Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Training Precautions stepped up.

Originally Posted Nov 3rd, 2009

Rafael Benitez this morning informed the Knosuj Place Times that he is stepping up precautions against injuries- starting with training sessions.

"We're doing all we can, for sure, " Rafa told journalists who had joined him hunting for four leafed clovers in Stanley Park, "we just seem beseiged by bad luck!"

Luck may not be on Rafa's side, Sammy Lee smashed one the dressing room mirrors at the start of the season after accusing the players of swapping it with one of those carnival mirrors that make you look fat.

Despite Rafa taking precautions though, Jamie Carragher was put out of action this morning when a horse-shoe fell from the boot-room wall and struck him in the head. Lucas Leiva also joins the injury list after being bitten trying to collect rabbit's feet. The rabbit apparantly did not approve of his quest. Lucas is currently being treated for Rabies.

"I've ordered a new kit made of Kevlar, " Benitez said as he looked down in frustration at the two, three, and five-leafed clovers he had found. We're also spending our January transfer budget on force-field technology from NASA.

A few moments later Rafa received an alert, Torres's lucky arm-band had got stuck in a lift and had ripped his arm off. "See what I'm up against?" he asked whilst shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Liverpool are reviewing their options, a loop hole in the contract could mean the healthy and fit Harry Kewell could return to Liverpool to fill in during the unlucky injury crisis.

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