Arsenal fans this morning are dismayed to hear they may be losing Arshavin due to legal difficulties. Newcastle claim full legal ownership of Arshavin due to copyright laws.
In the late 1990's, Newcastle United geneticist, Jeanne Splicing, began a series of genetic tests, ultimately combining the DNA of Alan Shearer and Nicky Butt. Arshavin, the product of a Butt-Shearer genetic manipulation, was put into an advanced growth chamber to fast-forward his development. The prodigy was lost, after Mr. Splicing refused to ask for directions to Tesco and the couple ended up in Russia.
According to British law, Newcastle are thus legal owners of Arshavin.
Newcastle are also currently pursuing ownership rights to the tune "silent night" after it was revealed the tune was co-written by Leon Best and Andy Carroll. The Best-Carroll tune is also thought to be Newcastle intellectual property; if such a thing exists.
No comments:
Post a Comment