Originally Posted June 30th, 2008
Following recent rumours that DIC would hire Jose Mourinho if they took over Liverpool Football Club, the Knosuj Place Times have uncovered more unfounded rumours originating out of Dubai.
According to an un-named, but very special source, Mr. Mourinho has given DIC a list of requirements that need to be met prior to his employment.
1) The famous "This is Anfield" sign is to be replaced with a new banner- the new banner will be a close up of Jose's face and will read "This is Jose's face".
2) Poop-a-scoop bag dispensors are to be placed at all four corners of the field so that Jose can take his dog for walks at half time on the field.
3) The away dressing room is to be bugged so that Jose can confirm that the opposition manager is not spying on him or being a voyeur.
4) Stanley park is to be renamed "Realm of the Special-One" and is to be adorned with statues of Jose in various poses.
5) Shaving mirrors to be installed in the changing room so he doesn't have to go out on the field with a stubble anymore.
Mr. Mourinho's requests have not been granted without resistance however. DIC are apparantly unwilling to grant all concessions to Jose, stating for one, that Amanda Stavely likes the stubble.
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