Snose Red and the European Dwarves

Originally Posted sometime in 2008

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away lived a Scotsman named Snose Red.   Looking for his true love, Snose wandered out into the wilds of Mancunia.  It was there in Mancunia where he met up with XI delightfull dwarves of European football.

The leader of these XI dwarves, Winky, soon became Snose's favourite companion. He took him under his wing and taught him how to fall over whenever someone came near him. Winky was not the only dwarf of European football.  Amongst the other dwarves were Shreky, Frankinsteiny, Oldwelshdudey, and heain'tbrownhe'sorangey.

Now, the XI dwarves of Europe always dreamed of being European giants, but they were not quite up to the task despite lots of money they couldn't quite make up the ground on their rivals. They even thought 3 was a large number of golden chalices to own.

Clearly 3 was a smaller number than 5, but this they could not see. On the other side of the kingdom lived a wicky old witch name Romaneena- Romaneena would prance around in front of a magic mirror and ask- "Mourinor Mourinor on the wall, tell me my club is the richest of them all..."- but the Mourinor on the wall just laughed and said- as much money as you've pumped into the club- the Mancunian dwarves have spent more money than you. So Romaneena smashed the Mourinor ensuring his club would not win the premiership for at least another seven years and instead of the Mourinor hung Grant up to be flogged by the media.

Next Romaneena took his club to Moscow to do battle with the XI European dwarves and handed out apples during the game, a particular cultivar known as MancAreTosh- and anyone who bit the apple would fall asleep- because we all know apples are boring to eat and so are Man Utd vs Chelsea fixtures.

Unfortunately for Romaneena, his own European dwarfy, Slippy fell over and the European dwarves from Mancunia defeated Romaneena's army. But one day, Rafastiltskin and his charming army of red will wake the world up by once again kissing the golden chalice of Europe and reclaiming their natural place as kings of Europe and chase the pretenders to the throne away. At that point we will all live happily ever after. (except for the European dwarves).