Editorial: What it means to have Broughton as Liverpool's new chairman

Originally Posted April 16th, 2010

With a new chairman, (and a BA Chairman at that) taking over the reigns at Anfield you can expect a few new changes.

First be prepared for beefed up security. Shoes and wallets and any bags will be passed through an x-ray machine before entering the stadium. Your scarves will be taken from you (at a £5 fee) and delivered to your seat, or randonly, they will get lost and sent to Amsterdam.


Seats at Anfield will now be sold as "First Class", "Business Class" and "Coach".

Fat people will be expected to pay for two seats.

Seats in Coach will be cramped together in such a way that everyone will be within smelling range of someone with BO that wants to talk through the entire game.

First Class seats, of course, will be spacious and provided with free champagne. Fat talkative men with BO will be sprayed down with perfume and have food stuffed in their mouths to keep them quiet for your pleasure.

Expect brochures for the Anfield Shop to be tucked in nicely to seat in front of you.

Quality of food served at the game will be greatly decreased. Food will be cooked a day in advance and kept warm ready to send out to stadiums across the country to cut costs. Kosher meals will be available upon request.


Safety instructions will be performed by fed-up looking women in skirt-suits and high-heels. Evacuation instructions will be provided in case of crashing out of the FA Cup.


Finally, in case of volcanic erruption in far off islands, all games will be cancelled for a week to be rescheduled for later.


Thank you for flying LFC airlines.