Originally Posted May 11th, 2010
In the spirit of oneupmanship, Luna Constructors has contacted the Knosuj Place Times in regards to their mass- 20 stadium- conjoined-stadia project.
Luna C.'s chief architect Bill DeLott shares his vision:
"We're going to build a stadium for every Premier League team- and join them all together, " DeLott eagerly told our staff whilst mouthing on a lolly. "They can share walls and tap secret messages to each other during games... it'll be so much fun."
"We can save Premier League teams a bundle by not making them have to build their own car-parking lots!!!!"
We didn't get to speak to DeLott for long as his mother had to take him home, bathnight, but our paper learnt enough to see the merits of the project.
Schematics reveal that Stanley Park is the destination for "Stadium-City"; to get around the lack of space for 20 stadia, Stadia will be stacked in a giant pyramidical structure to allow some sunlight to enter each stadium. The stadia at the top of the pyramid will naturally receive more sunlight, air, and have been temporarily dubbed the "Sky 4". Visitors will be asked to refrain from urinating on spectators in the stadia below theirs.
The shared parking lot has been expertly designed by John Terry and features lots of secluded nooks. A multi-stadia tannoy system developed by Hilda from Norway will allow tannoy messages to simultaneously be broardcast through the complex; allowing prank callers from one stadium to hear the fruits of their work from another. The toilets have been expertly designed with a sandbox so a theoretical manager can run in and bury his head in the sand after an embarrasing 4-1 loss against their rivals.
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