Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tom Hicks To Receive Knighthood

The KP Times this morning learnt that preliminary plans are underway to grant Tom Hicks of Dallas, Texas an honourary knighthood.

According to crown spokesman, Stief Upalipp, the legendary businessman is praised in much of Liverpool, where his visits often result in a surge of business at neighbourhood McDonalds.  A long time supporter of the British government, Hicks has proved tireless in his attempts to keep the government banks afloat.  RBS admit that without his interest payments the bank would have collapsed long ago.

Tom Hicks is known for his philanthropy having recently given millions of pounds sterling to the Liverpool council for land grants in Stanley Park that he never intended to use.

It is believed a peerage is planed for the Texan and it is hoped his experience dealing with defecits and debt can be invaluable to the House of Lords. 

Unfortunately Tom Hicks was unavailable for comment, his telephone having been disconnected for failure to pay bills.  A close friend of Mr. Hicks however was convinced that Hicks would be willing to do whatever it takes to turn Britain's economy around; he would hire any economist necessary to help him with the task, even Snoogy Doogy would not be overlooked.

No comments:

Post a Comment