Rafa no longer leaving Liverpool

Originally Posted May 4th, 2010

The Knosuj Place Times has learnt that Rafael Benitez is no longer signing with Juventes during the summer.

"I thought I had lost the dressing room, for sure, " Benitez told our eager reporters, "but then I found it at the end of the tunnel right where I last left it."

Rafa hints at the new owners being of primary importance in his decision. With Juventus being linked to every player on the Liverpool squad except for David N'Gog, one decision seemed to make a lot of sence.

"I talked to Juve's chairman Fernando Abbasong, for sure, and we shared the same the same vision. We wanted Torres, Mascherano, Gerrard to leave with me, a fantastic stadium, and the world's greatest fans. Abbasong pointed out, that we have that at Liverpool- so rather than just picking out one or two players- Juventes decided to sign the entire club, for sure. "

Liverpool will continue to play in England, but the decision to play in Juve's black and white stripes instead of red has been discarded. Those colours long being associated with failiure in the domestic market.

"Abbasong wanted to give us a new nickname 'the old lady' just like they have, but I pointed out we already have an 'old bird' and besides, we didn't want Wayne Rooney hanging around us too often, for sure. "

Juventes have long been admirers of Liverpool after meeting them in the Champions League.

"There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, " Fernando Abbasong told our reporters.

Abbasong is optimistic for success in the English market and in Italian fashion has already paid for wins in the opening three rounds of the Premier League next season.