Friday, September 17, 2010

Greater Manchester boundaries to expand

Originally published July 2nd 2008

Self proclaimed footballing-capital of the world, Knosuj Place, is requesting administrative change. Located in the heart of Surrey, Knosuj Place is asking to be reassigned to Greater Manchester so residents can be closer to their favourite football team's stadium.

Knosuj Place propelled itself into footballs hall of fame after Derek Asamoah once decided to sleep in a B&B here. Man Utd legends, Wayne Rooney, and Louis Saha own the local pub, the "Ogre and Donkey".

The Ogre and Donkey is a favourite hang-out for old-widows, enticed by the tuesday night bingo, they often hang around for the cheap drinks and hopes of taking one of the owners home with them.

Wes Brown has strong childhood memories of Knosuj Place.

"My family would come here every summer. I spent many an afternoon swimming in the river just down stream of the orange dye factory."

The Neville brothers also have childhood memories of Knosuj Place.

"I earned my first £5 at the University here" Phil Neville told us, "our parents used to take us here for medical trials. People told them they were being irresponsible, but we turned out normal enough."

Ruud Van Nistleroy's mother was a frequent patron of the stables here. She loved to ride the large luscious stallions.

"We're Manchester through and through here, " one local resident told us, "we deserve to be in Greater Manchester. We're as Mancunian as the Albert Park."

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