The Ghost of Football

Originally Posted March, 2009

Usually Football and ghosts don't come up in the same sentence, at least that's what Sue Purnatrol used to think. She's been following her favourite team play since football began back in 1992.

"Things used to be great, " Sue told the Knosuj Place Times, "we used to always be winning. There were no ghosts, no supernatural beings. "

Recently though for Sue she's beginning to regret going to games. "Not only have we started to lose, but I'm hearing ghosts in the toilets."

It started after her team, Manchester United, lost to Liverpool on the 14th of March.

"I left the stadium early because I saw we were going to lose. That, and the Liverpool fans were just too loud, it sounded like a pub, whoever heard of loud behaviour at a football game?

It took me a little longer than I had hoped- stepping over the dead rats in the ladies room makes a perilous visit. I applied my makeup, redid my hair, sat on the loo and then I heard it- the ghost."

Sue wasn't alone- many people heard the ghost that day- a loud wailing sound that echo'd down the sewage pipes and into the WCs all round Old Trafford.

"Whhhhhhyyyyyyy meeeeeeeee- ahhhhhhh daaaaaa bessssssst teeeeeeammmmm loooooooosssssttttt! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

It was a truly saddening sound. One man, who had passed out drunk from despair during the game and woke hours later confirmed the eerie sound and haunting continued late into the night. He even claimed to have seen the ghost- a purple nosed monstrosity with red flashing eyes, exiting the toilets.

"The ghost turned to me and asked, 'av Sky leff now laddie?'" Ian Ebriated told our paper.

Was this a bizarre prediction to the end of time when Earth is stripped of it's atmosphere experts now wonder.

The ghost, known to ghosthunters as 'the Bogman of Salford' was not a one time appearance. He appeared again following United's loss to Fulham.

"eeeeeet waaaaaaaaarnitttt a reeeeeeed!!!!!!!" he wailed through the sewage pipes sending the cockroaches scurrying.



Many now wonder what affect this will have on Old Trafford. The stadium known for it's pristine silence may get quieter still as visitors from London and Surrey are forced to look over their shoulders to make sure the Bogman of Salford is not standing behind them.