Originally Posted sometime 2008
Gareth Barry today is complaining to the FA that he has been tied to Villa Park against his will. The unlucky defender is calling out for Liverpool to come rescue him from his misery.
Barry has long felt like he can't show his best form at Villa, especially since he is now tied with an iron chain to a cinder block buried in the middle of the field.
"The worst part is when I need to pee- the chain doesn't quite reach the toilets- and Martin O'Neil has the only key to the chastity belt I am now forced to wear".
Still, Barry is picking up many supporters in his trapped condition. Gareth speaks how he has received repeated visits from FIA representative Max Mosley.
"He keeps coming and visiting me and smiles and points to my chains and mutters something in German- I think he is saying 'Spechen sie Deutsch?'"
Martin O'Neil is aware of the issues relating to Barry's short chain and is hunting the country for longer and longer links.
"Home games are no problem, but we're trying to stretch our current resources. Barry is intergral to our team, so we need a chain longer enough to reach for those away games against Newcastle."
Max Mosley is known to vehemently disagree with this statement.
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